i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
