Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
