if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
