super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Text me some of your sweat
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
