we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
