she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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