under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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