I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
