My nipple is on Facebook.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize