Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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