Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
