I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
