I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
