and i looked up. we had an audience...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
