we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
