woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
