I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
