That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
