maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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