Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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