marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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