How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
