i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
