let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
