Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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