Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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