just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
