I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
