I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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