Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
