Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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