.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
