i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
