i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think your dad took our porno
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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