You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
