I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
