trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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