hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
