problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
