I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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