The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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