Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
