I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
