i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
