Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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