i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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