I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
