Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
