I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Pants are for mortals
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
