Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I FOUND THE LEGS
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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